Grammy & Pappy's house is on a realty website. Sale is already pending. I'm kind of shocked that they're only selling it for $55K.

I was finally able to stop by for a few minutes on Saturday, on my way to help my sister move into her new house. (Gratz to her, she is now a homeowner!)

But, back to THIS house.



It was very weird to pull into the driveway for the very last time. I sat in the car for a few minutes, remembering all the times I had helped Grammy get out of the car, all the times in the years before, when she hadn't needed so much help, the times sitting at the picnic table with Pappy, and so, so many visits.

The doors were locked, of course. I took one last peek inside the mailbox, then made my way to the back porch.

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When I was ready to go, I took one last look at the back of the house. Blew a kiss at Pappy's window, got in the car, and turned it around, one last time. I remembered thinking about that moment, dreading it, for years beforehand: the last time, that monumental last visit, when they were both dead and gone. That moment had arrived.

Buffy and Spike. I just found a video that almost gave me a nosebleed. (Seriously: caution! Quite possibly NSFW even though it all appeared on network TV!) Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnghalkjlkwjerllkjwerawefdlkslakj.

Today, this journal is 7 years old! Here's my first post. Awwww.

Pretty decent extended weekend so far. Yesterday was highly eventful with the biz, and today was spent at Phil's race, napping, and biking from Star City to the amphitheater downtown (to avoid traffic - brilliant idea, Phil!) to see the 4th of July fireworks. I was really impressed with the display... usually it's crappy and sad, but this year was amazing! At one point, they set off a bunch of them and we thought it was the grand finale, and we were already satisfied by then, but it turned into more of a halftime show. The show kept on going and kept getting better. There were several types of fireworks that I'd never seen before, too, mostly the type that they set up to go off in large groups. They explode pretty low in the sky in comparison to the other fireworks, so it formed a very pretty "base" layer.

Dear city fireworks planners: who(m)ever you hired to do your fireworks this year? Hire them again. Forever. Please?

Even though I haven't had to go in to work for the past 2 days, I've ended up only getting 4 - 6 hours of sleep. I need 9. Consequently, I am going to bed and will not be getting out again until I'm damn well good and ready. This ache in my bones has got to go; I'm sick of it.

G'night all. Hope you had an excellent day.

Last night was one of the best times of my life!

Our friends L and C had a party at their place in Shadyside (for non-locals, that's a suburb of Pittsburgh). Thanx, guys! Out of pure faith and belief, I brought a bottle of champagne (and a 12-pack of Yuengling, which we can now buy in West Virginia!).

We arrived a few minutes after the game started, but thanks to the magic of DVR, we didn't miss a minute - they paused the game until everyone arrived. We hung around on the patio and talked for a while, then went in to watch the game. I was so excited I could hardly sit still.

The game itself was amazing. There's an incredible recap on PensBlog here, and it is so good that I won't even try to recap the game myself. I get all teary-eyed anytime I read it.

But... Max. My man, Max. I've loved this guy for quite some time, and I relished the fact that Detroit feared him. Turns out that they had a reason for that fear. Max Talbot put in two goals, and the "Wangs" only put in one goal, so the big shiny thing that weighs 35 pounds unless you're lifting it... IS NOW OURS.

I can hardly believe it. It actually happened. It wasn't a dream.

As the Red Wings rushed through the handshake, I rushed to the fridge and got the champagne and was utterly unable to open the darn thing because my hands wouldn't work. Many thanks to C, who opened it without spilling any, and to L, who got the glasses out and helped. We toasted to the victory as the Pens began to hoist the Cup. And out of happiness, relief, and a fantastic stew of other emotions, I cried. I'm still crying, anytime I watch a recap video or read a news story or blog post, anytime I remember the look on the guys' faces. And I laugh my ass off anytime I think about the look on Hossa's face.



Revenge is sweet.

As we finished the champagne and ran out to the patio to yell WOOOOOO with all the people passing by, Phil said that we should go to the South Side and join the party. "Let's go and do shots until we puke!" he said. I grinned and said "OKAY!" Even though nobody else would go with us because it was potentially dangerous (car accidents, riots etc.), Phil and I would not be deterred. We got in the car and made our way over. On the way, we called our friend D in Annapolis, who is a hardcore Flyers fan but was rooting for Pittsburgh because Detroit sucks.

In the South Side, people were high-fiving us as we drove by in our car. It was a beautiful scene. Everyone was so happy. We found a parking spot fairly quickly, in a bank parking lot, and got out and joined the fray.

Can't tell you how many high-fives I collected. There were chants of "Detroit sucks" and "Let's go Pens" everywhere. Carson Street was electric!

And then we ran into the cops. They were on horseback and told everyone to "go inside or go home." Suddenly, it turned into a police state or something, complete with SWAT vans and police vans. We hid out in a middle-eastern restaurant until it was safe to dart over to the side streets. We made a large loop to go behind the police and tried to get into a bar, but the bouncer told us that the cops ordered them not to let any more people in. Unreal.

We made another loop and found a bar called Kopy's on a side street. They were still letting folks in, so we went in and were able to celebrate with a bunch of people. More Yuengling (no shots at all, actually). The bar had several framed photos from the last time the Pens won the cup: one of Mario shooting the puck into the net, and one of Barasso. Very nice. We talked baseball with the bartender and met some interesting folks there, including a guy who had gotten his teeth knocked out in a fight, trying to get some guy to apologize to his girlfriend.

The bar was cash-only, so Phil had to go to the car to get some cash. The freaking cops almost didn't let him back in. I guess they just hadn't gotten to that bar before we were able to get in. Geez.

There were two other guys sitting next to us, and we talked to them until the bar closed. In the course of conversation, we found out that one of the guys was the youngest of 11 kids. Holy crap. We invited them to come drink some more Yuengling at our car, and they did. We hung around with them for quite some time. They invited us to go to one of their friends' houses, so we hopped into the car when they took off, but decided at the last minute to go home instead.

We were stopped at a stoplight when a random guy came up to our car and asked if we could give him and his girlfriend a ride to Oakland, he'd give us a few bucks. We were still giddy and happily told them to hop in. It was a little confusing trying to find the right way to Oakland, but we got there eventually. The guy gave us 9 bucks!

We went home, having to stop for gas on the way. We almost ran out. I don't think I would have minded. We got home at 5 am, the birds chirping when we fell into bed.

The parade is on Monday at noon. I'm taking off work in order to be there. Can't miss this!

* * *

I got this fortune cookie at lunch on Wednesday:

• 10:37 RT @pensbroads: GET IT GOING #LETSGOPENS #LETSGOPENS #LETSGOPENS #LETSGOPENS #LETSGOPENS #LETSGOPENS #LETSGOPENS #LETSGOPENS #LETANGSSEXHAIR #

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Today would've been Grammy's 81st birthday.

ETA: I just found out that today is the 65th anniversary of D-Day. I did the math (thank you, calculator) and discovered that D-Day happened on her 16th birthday. Geez.

I'm really glad that we made a fuss over her 80th. My sister got her 80 roses and we took her to a Chinese restaurant she used to visit when she was in high school. The manager gave her a box of tea when he heard that she had been a frequent customer so long ago. :)

I don't know if I mentioned it to you all, but it turns out that I don't have to deal with clearing out Grammy & Pappy's house. Uncle Larry spent his own money and paid some moving guys to help him get everything out of there. He didn't even call us. I don't know if I'm happy about that (because I really couldn't handle the stress then) or unhappy about that (because I don't have a chance to pick out things I'd like to keep). I think I'm mostly happy about it, because really, stuff is stuff, and I already have a lot of it, and I also have several keepsakes from Grammy and Pappy.

The weird thing is that, in the back of my mind, I'm still telling myself: gotta go get the house cleaned out. I wasn't part of the process, and that is so INSANELY WEIRD for me because I've always been a part of any gigantic manual labor task that the family undertakes. So I haven't yet come to terms with the fact that my grandparents' house is empty and I will never be inside it again. It's strange enough to remember that they're both gone when, only several months ago, they were both alive and I visited them often, cutting Pappy's hair and taking care of Grammy's nails.

I'm starting to think that I'm going to have to go back to the house and sit on the porch for a while, just for some closure.

I want an Earthship. Preferably somewhere near a large body of water.

For a long time now, they've only been build-able in very hot, dry climates, but technology keeps improving. These days, Earthships are being built in places like England!

It's after 4:00 and I can barely think of anything besides the Pens, because they're playing tonight and could SWEEP the series with Carolina, propelling them into the Stanley Cup Finals. To play, probably, Detroit. Again.

To celebrate this unreal postseason, I bring you: the best YouTube video ever. Seriously, I've watched it 4 times and each time, I get very large goosebumps. I got teary-eyed last year at the movie they showed on the Jumbotron at the Stanley Cup Finals' Game 1 viewing party at Mellon Arena (being played in Detroit but you could watch on the Jumbotron in Pgh!), but this one? Oh man. Must-See.

Seriously. It is that good. Why are you reading this instead of pushing "play"?!

5 LiveJournalers from Russia, who post entries entirely in Russian (or have no entries at all), friended me yesterday/today.

I'm normally very excited when someone friends me, but I tend not to friend people whose entries I can't read (with the exception of tuss, who is my awesome friend and posts great photos).

So I'm just wondering why all these Russian speakers/writers keep friending me. I think I get at least one a week. Does my writing style appeal to Russians or something?

• 21:51 Geez, the Pens win 6 - 2, and if that's not awesome enough, latest episode of Bleach manga came out early today. Ching!! #

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• 09:53 Quotable and pertinent: "Let me apologize to my first beer at 5 PM, because beer, you don't have a chance." #

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• 21:26 got $60 back from the bank. Overpayment of invoices. Am I dreaming? #

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Sometimes it's the little things.

These shoes totally made my day, even though it was Grammy's funeral. Note the lack of death by pointy-toes.



There's only a 1-inch heel, I think, though I haven't measured. With a foot as small and oddly shaped as mine, that's important.

Ahh, you dear new pair of comfy yet stylish dress shoes: I think this may be the beginning of a long and meaningful relationship. :)

* * *

Everything went smoothly, and Grammy's at rest. We're going to take it easy this week, hope for no more catastrophes for a while, and plan for the future. It's kind of exciting.

There's still the matter of Grammy and Pappy's remaining bills, and their earthly possessions, but that's much easier to deal with than hospitalizations, sicknesses and deaths.

Since I'm procrastinating about my elliptical workout, I decided to post some recent pix.

These two are from this morning. This dove and his mate are building a nest right outside our bedroom window!





Also, Onyx and Maya have been getting along much better lately. Onyx is the younger kitties' mommy and she has been grumpy with them forever, but she seems to be calming down a lot lately.

And she loves her sunbeams. They make her playful.



( 2 more Onyx/Maya pix under here... )

Today's the first Easter without Grammy. It's crazy that we're having our first Grammy-less holiday in between the viewing and the funeral. I always went and made dinner for Grammy and Pappy for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, so today was going to be kind of weird for me.

But actually? Not so much, because Phil is awesome and thoughtful and gave me the best Easter morning I've had since my last Easter egg hunt, which was a long time ago. Until today.

I declare today Sorrow-Free Sunday.

'Scuse me, gonna go get some more candy. Fitness later. :D

Grammy died last night at about 2:45 am. I was there.

For those of you not on my friends list: Grammy fell down some stairs on March 20 and suffered a "massive" blood clot on her brain. She had no chance of recovery, so she stayed in the Skilled Nursing Unit at Ruby Memorial Hospital and received "comfort care" until last night.

My cousin T came down yesterday afternoon and spent some time with Grammy. After she left, my sister, her mother-in-law and Uncle Larry came down and spent as much of the day/evening as they were able. We went out for dinner for Tam's birthday. A lot of the time in the hospital at Grammy's bedside, we were laughing, remembering the good times and the not-so-good times. Later in the evening, Tammy left with her mother-in-law, who had driven them to the hospital, and then an hour or two later, Uncle Larry left.

I stayed because the nurse was pretty sure that she wouldn't make it through the night, and because the nurses hinted that it would be good if someone would stay with her, keep an eye on her, quickly let the nurses know if she was fidgeting or in any pain at all. So I was on death-watch.

11:30.... midnight... 1:00... 1:30... something had been telling me all night: 3 am. I was watching some snake guy on Animal Planet, the sound muted, keeping track of Grammy's breaths-per-minute. The rate had been as high as 43 during the late afternoon. By about 2:00 am, the rate was down to about 20. At about 2:30, it had dropped to 12. Over the next few minutes, it dropped to 8, then 4... then 2... and she was gone. The nurse just happened to come into the room when I had counted her last breath. She listened with a stethoscope and confirmed it: Grammy was gone.

It was gradual and slow and gentle and peaceful. She just slowly and eventually stopped breathing; there was no struggle and no pain. I'm glad that I stayed.

They called the chaplain and I waited. The chaplain arrived, and she and I talked about Grammy for a while and then she prayed, which Grammy would like. A surgeon came in and double-checked, re-verifying that Grammy had died. I called Phil and he picked me up at the hospital and took me home, whereupon I called Uncle Larry to tell him (Phil had already called Tam, which I'm thankful for) and then promptly crashed.

I'm OK. This was not unexpected, and I'm happy that Grammy's not suffering. I also feel a bit lighter, knowing that I don't have to worry about my grandparents anymore. We'll be making arrangements this afternoon; not sure when the viewing/funeral can be scheduled, because of the whole Easter thing. We'll see. And we'll get through the funeral and we'll deal with the house-ful of stuff (because now that Grammy is gone, the sweet little old landlady is selling the house) and then that will be that.

I've spent the last while calling relatives and friends, giving them the sad news. I'd better get back to it.

I'm definitely not a big fan of the Rockefellers, but I found this quote today and wanted to share. It's the truth.

"Let no one, for a single moment, think that Alzheimer's disease is anything but a dreadful, wicked inexorable nightmare."

- John D. Rockefeller IV, whose mother suffered with Alzheimer's for 8 years before she died.

• 15:38 Hilarious Twitter parody: is.gd/nFe1 #

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Today is my 8-year anniversary at my job.

I think I'd be at least semi-happy about it if so many other factors weren't interfering. Many of said factors don't even involve the job itself. Life has gotten "interesting" again, at least in the ancient-Chinese-curse sense of things. For those of you not on my LiveJournal friends list: Grammy fell down several stairs and is in the hospital with a large blood clot pressing on her brain. As if that weren't bad enough, they have pretty much verified via cat scan that she has Alzheimer's.

Today I made the mistake of reading about the stages that Alzheimer's takes. I'm glad I'm in an office by myself, because I broke down sobbing. If Grammy survives this brain trouble, this is what she will go through, and there's no way around it and it's just heartbreaking.

I don't know what to do, besides continue to visit her as much as possible. The paperwork is overwhelming, and there's no way to know what state she'll be in if/when they discharge her from the hospital, so we can't even plan ahead. None of us have access to her bank account (she was too stubborn to allow that), so it's going to be rather challenging to pay her bills while she's unable to sign the bank withdrawal slips.

More under friends lock later. I'm sorry that I've gotten so stingy with details about my personal life, but things have not been good for a very long time, and it's hard to trust random strangers on the internet anymore (folks on my friends list are exceptions, of course, because you guys aren't just random strangers on the internet).

One good thing, anyway: on Monday night, when I finally got home from the hospital and was depressed and exhausted, we checked the mail and I discovered that gallo_de_pelea's Less-Than-Epic Adventures of TJ & Amal preview comic booklet had arrived! It completely brightened my day... err, night. The hand-drawn sketch in the inside cover was awesome, as was the high-gloss postcard-type dealie that was included. I plan to put it all into a sealed Ziploc bag so that it can be in near-mint condition and be worth a skazillion dollars when EK gets rich and famous. Honestly, she doesn't give herself enough credit and I predict that she will be extremely surprised when this comic TOTALLY TAKES OFF. Go check out the website; you won't be disappointed. :)

• 11:54 Sylvia Plath's son kills himself in Alaska; next thing you know, Mt. Redoubt is erupting like crazy. I feel a poem coming on. #

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